Vice President and Presidential nominee Kamala Harris’s fertility history has been the focus of much attention: #KrazyKatWoman. In the mid-2010s former UK Prime Minister Theresa May’s childless status became an issue during her leadership campaign. Her husband’s childlessness was not mentioned: no #KrazyKatMan?
Increased life expectancy and lower fertility rates has implications for individuals and nations. In 2021 Pew Research Centre piece [1] found an increasing number of childless US adults don’t expect to become parents. Unfortunately, Pew don’t give the levels of childless men and women. In Europe approximately 25% of men compared to 20% of women are childless [2] while a British cohort study found that 25.4% of men and 19% of women were childless [3]. Nonetheless, caution is needed as the statistics on childlessness in Europe, UK, US and many countries are uncertain because they are only based on the mother’s history data collected at the registration of a birth [4].
Most people want or expect to be parents and the achievement of biological parenthood in most cultures and societies offers the surest way to a positively valued social identity. Factors that influence fertility decisions and outcome include the timing of exiting education, entry in to the workforce, relationship formation and dissolution, partner selection, economics, health and age [5, 6]. Stereotypically, women are often defined by motherhood and men as ambivalent towards fatherhood. A diagnosis of potential or actual infertility can have significant life-long implications for mental and physical health, wellbeing, and close and wider relationships [7]. Post-infertility treatment men have often been reported as ‘disappointed but not devastated’ by not attaining fatherhood [8: p.142]. This view still holds ground in much infertility literature despite that men have reported the treatment process had a profound effect on men’s beliefs about themselves and their place in society [9]. Moreover, many involuntarily and voluntarily childless people have hidden their experience and status, to avoid stigma and/or protect themselves or others from pain [7].
The vast bulk of literature on reproduction is centred on women with little investigation of the male experience. This is based on the 'widely held but largely untested assumption’ [10: p.6] that men are not interested in, and disengaged from, parenthood. Consequently, men have become marginalized as the ‘second sex’ [11: p.1] in all areas of social science scholarship and in the general media. There is a paucity research on men’s experiences on the desire for fatherhood. The little research that does exist concentrates on couples on fertility treatment, fertility intentions, fathers to be or those who are already fathers. Studies of health datasets have shown that childlessness has an impact on men’s health and wellbeing [12, 13].
What happens to those #KrazyKatMen?
Let’s start by busting the myth that men are not bothered about fatherhood [14]. In order to see if that claim was true, I self-funded a study to try and find the level of ‘broodiness’ [15-18] in men and women, non-parents and parents. I found that 59% of men and 63% of women said they wanted children. The main influences on men’s wishes to have children were ‘cultural and family expectations’ with an underlying factor of ‘biological urge’ and ‘personal desire.’ Furthermore, non-parent men were as likely to want children as non-parent. However, they felt more isolated, depressed, angry, and sad than women were. Of the men that wanted children:
• 69% had experienced yearning for a child, compared with 71% women.
• 50% had experienced isolation because they did not have any children, compared with 27% women.
• 38% had experienced depression because they did not have any children, compared with 27% women.
• 25% had experienced anger because they did not have any children, compared with 18% women.
• 56% had experienced sadness because they did not have any children, compared with 43% women.
• 56% experienced jealousy of those with children, compared with 47% of women.
• No men had experienced guilt because they did not have any children, compared with 16% women.
In an earlier study I interviewed 10 men [19] about their experience of wanting to be a father. Fatherhood was viewed as a re-connection, repayment, repeat or replacement of their childhood experience. All the men reported having experienced depression: eight of the men thought that childlessness was an element in their mental health. The men also talked about feeling bereaved and isolated and some showed issues with alcohol and substance abuse [19]. My PhD [see 20] challenged the view that men are not as affected by involuntary childlessness as women. The 14 men who participated in the study spoke of 'missing out' on the father-child relationship. The majority of infertility literature highlights a transition from grief to acceptance. However, all the participants’ expressed a complex constant negotiation of the loss of experience, identity, role, and intimate and wider relationships. Moreover, the continuity of disruption affects present and future agency: economic, existential, genetic, identity, legacy of familial stories and material, relational, role, and socio-cultural.
More on #KrazyKatMen
· European data shows fathers have higher incomes than childless men, regardless of their partner history [21, 22].
· European research found older childless men have smaller social networks and poorer behaviours in terms of health, diet, self-care, and well-being than those married with children [20-25].
· Dutch data showed that single non-parent men aged 45–59 were poorer socio-economically and psychologically compared to men in relationships [14].
· In the UK unmarried and childless men face greater risks of poor midlife physical function (functional decline) in than married men with children. There were no differences in outcomes among women [26].
· An Australian study found that men, five years after a diagnosis of infertility, who did not become fathers suffered poorer mental health compared to men who become fathers [27].
· A study of North American co-workers revealed divorced, widowed, and never-married childless men reported higher rates of loneliness compared with women in similar circumstances [28].
· Divorced, and widowed childless men showed higher rates of depression than divorced and widowed women [28].
· A Swedish study revealed that both lone childless men and lone non-custodial fathers had an increased risk of death through suicide, addiction, injury, poisoning, lung and heart disease [29]. A cross-country study found that formerly married childless men recorded the highest incidence of excessive smoking and drinking, worse physical health, depression and sleeping difficulties [30].
· European research found childless men have higher mortality risks than fathers Dykstra [21, 22].
· In the UK The National Confidential Inquiry into Suicide and Safety in Mental Health [31] reports over 60% (38% were parents) of the cases were probably childless at the time of their suicide.
· A Norwegian study found childless men in late middle age had higher mortality than fathers [32].
· A Swiss population study indicated that generally, men had over twice the rate of unassisted suicide and a similar level of assisted suicide compared to women: accounting for underlying health problems (for example, cancer) the rate for unassisted suicide for men was nearly five times the rate for women [33].
Childless men – for whatever reason circumstances (and economics is a very big factor), choice or infertility – are made invisible and not listened too [34, 35]. The situation surrounding #KrazyKatMen is complex. A more nuanced understanding and approach to male reproductive health and childless men is needed. As I wrote in a recent #Blog [13], “It is imperative that societal attitudes evolve to recognize and address the unique challenges faced by childless men. By doing so, we can work towards a more inclusive and empathetic society that acknowledges and supports the needs of all individuals, regardless of gender.”
Summaries of my research can be found at my website: www.robinhadley.co.uk.
I am a World Childless Week Ambassador. This year’s World Childless Week takes place on 16th-22nd Sept 2024.
References
1. Brown, A., Growing share of childless adults in U.S. don’t expect to ever have children. 2021, Pew Research Center: Washington, DC.
2. Tanturri, M.L., et al., State-of-the-art report: Childlessness in Europe. Working Per Series 32. 2015, Families and Societies Project, European Union: Brussels: Belgium.
3. Berrington, A., Childlessness in the UK, in Childlessness in Europe: Contexts, Causes, and Consequences, M. Kreyenfeld and D. Konietzka, Editors. 2017, Springer International Publishing: Cham. p. 57-76.
4. Sobotka, T., Childlessness in Europe: Reconstructing Long-Term Trends Among Women Born in 1900–1972, in Childlessness in Europe: Contexts, Causes, and Consequences, M. Kreyenfeld and D. Koneitzka, Editors. 2017, Springer: Cham, Switzerland. p. 17-56.
5. Roberts, E., et al., Factors that influence the childbearing intentions of Canadian men. Human Reproduction, 2011. 6(5): p. 1202-1208.
6. Simpson, R., CHILDBEARING ON HOLD: A LITERATURE REVIEW. 2008, Centre for Research on Families and Relationships: Edinburgh. p. 1-31.
7. Letherby, G., 'Infertility' and 'Involuntary Childlessness': Losses, Ambivalences and Resolutions, in Understanding Reproductive Loss: Perspectives on Life, Death and Fertility, S. Earle, C. Komaromy, and L. Layne, Editors. 2012, Ashgate Publications Limited: Farnham. p. 9-21.
8. Fisher, J.R.W. and K. Hammarberg, Psychological and social aspects of infertility in men: an overview of the evidence and implications for psychologically informed clinical care and future research. Asian J Androl, 2012. 14(1): p. 121-129.
9. Throsby, K. and R. Gill, "It's Different for Men": Masculinity and IVF. Men and Masculinities, 2004. 6(4): p. 330-348.
10. Inhorn, M.C., The New Arab Man. Emergent Masculinities, Technologies, and Islam in the Middle East. 2012, Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press.
11. Inhorn, M.C., et al., The Second Sex in Reproduction? Men, Sexuality, and Masculinity, in Reconceiving the Second Sex: Men, Masculinity, and Reproduction, M.C. Inhorn, et al., Editors. 2009, Bergham Books: New York. p. 1-17.
12. Hadley, R.A., Every day is International Men’s Day – right?, in World Childless Week. 2023, World Childless Week.
13. Hadley, R.A., The Unseen men on Father’s Day: The Impact of Childlessness on Men's Health and Well-being, in Ageing Issues. 2024, British Society of Gerontology.
14. Hadley, R.A., Deconstructing Dad, in The Palgrave Handbook of Male Psychology and Mental Health, J.A. Barry, et al., Editors. 2019, Palgrave Macmillan: Cham. p. 47-66.
15. Hadley, R.A., Male broodiness: Does the desire for fatherhood affect men? Psychreg Journal of Psychology, 2020. 4(3): p. 67-89.
16. Hadley, R.A., Navigating in an Uncharted World: How does the desire for fatherhood affect men? Journal of Fertility Counselling, 2012. 19(01): p. 12-13.
17. Hadley, R.A., The lived experience of older involuntary childless men. The Annual Journal of the British Sociological Association Study Group on Auto/Biography 2017, 2018: p. 93-108.
18. Hadley, R.A., Male broodiness is it a thing? An exploration of men’s desire for fatherhood., in E-poster. Psychosocial section. 2024: Fertility 2024, Edinburgh.
19. Hadley, R.A. and T.S. Hanley, Involuntarily childless men and the desire for fatherhood. Journal of Reproductive and Infant Psychology, 2011. 29(1): p. 56-68.
20. Hadley, R.A., How is a man supposed to be a man? Male childlessness - a Life Course Disrupted. 2021, New York: Berghahn Books.
21. Dykstra, P.A. and R. Keizer, The wellbeing of childless men and fathers in mid-life. Ageing & Society, 2009. 29(8): p. 1227-1242.
22. Keizer, R., P.A. Dykstra, and A.-R. Poortman, Life Outcomes of Childless Men and Fathers. European Sociological Review, 2009. 26(1): p. 1-15.
23. Hadley, R.A., The Reflective Call of Carers Ageing without Children and/or Family: ‘Who will be there for me when I need it?, in Ageing Issues. 2023, British Society of Gerontology: London.
24. Hadley, R.A., ‘No longer invincible’: the impact of involuntary childlessness on older men. Physical Therapy Reviews, 2021: p. 1-16.
25. Hadley, R.A., ‘It's most of my life – going to the pub or the group’: the social networks of involuntarily childless older men. Ageing and Society, 2021. 41(1): p. 51-76.
26. Guralnik, J.M., et al., Reduced midlife physical functioning among never married and childless men: evidence from the 1946 British Birth Cohort Study. Aging Clinical and Experimental Research, 2009. 21(2): p. 174-181.
27. Fisher, J.R.W., G.H.W. Baker, and K. Hammarberg, Long-term health, well-being, life satisfaction, and attitudes toward parenthood in men diagnosed as infertile: challenges to gender stereotypes and implications for practice. Fertility and Sterility, 2010. 94(2): p. 574-580.
28. Zhang, Z. and M.D. Hayward, Childlessness and the Psychological Well-Being of Older Persons. The Journals of Gerontology Series B: Psychological Sciences and Social Sciences, 2001. 56(5): p. S311-S320.
29. Weitoft, G., B. Burström, and M. Rosén, Premature mortality among lone fathers and childless men. Social Science & Medicine, 2004. 59(7): p. 1449-1459.
30. Kendig, H., et al., Health of Aging Parents and Childless Individuals. Journal of Family Issues, 2007. 28(11): p. 1457-1486.
31. Appleby, L., et al., The National Confidential Inquiry into Suicide and Safety in Mental Health: Suicide by middle aged men. 2021, Healthcare Quality Improvement Partnership: Manchester. p. 42.
32. Grundy, E. and O. Kravdal, Fertility history and cause-specific mortality: A register-based analysis of complete cohorts of Norwegian women and men. Social Science & Medicine, 2010. 70(11): p. 1847-1857.
33. Steck, N., M. Egger, and M. Zwahlen, Assisted and unassisted suicide in men and women: Longitudinal study of the Swiss population. British Journal of Psychiatry, 2018. 208(5): p. 484-490.
34. Hadley, R.A., Muted Voices of Invisible Men: The Impact of Male Childlessness, in Work-Life Inclusion: Broadening Perspectives Across the Life-Course, K. Wilkinson and H. Woolnough, Editors. 2024, Emerald Publishing Limited. p. 135-146.
35. Daniels, C.R., Exposing Men: The Science and Politics of Male Reproduction. 2006, New York: Oxford University Press.
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